A Time of Transitions.

We're entering a time of transitions.

Mad Natter has been diagnosed as SPD, we have found he is a visual spatial learner, and we have started OT.  What that means for us is that I'm now checking out every book I can find on VSL, and we're in a period of transition.  I understand now why our grammar and writing programs aren't working as well as math, spelling, and science. I'm immeasurably glad to have found this before I bought our curricula for next year.  I have the opportunity to reevaluate and try again.  We will likely keep handwriting, math, science, spelling, reading and logic.  Composition and grammar, I'm looking into Michael Clay Thompson's Grammar Island. I'm seeing endless recommendations for it as a wonderful thing for visual spatial learners.  In the meantime, I am trying to teach Mad Natter how to harness his imagination. It's difficult, but he seems to be grokking the concept enough that things are easier than they were.  I'm trying to teach him to use his imagination to picture stories in his head. So, when he is read aloud to, his mind will make up the pictures he needs to remember the stories.  It went well for a first day, and I'm hoping this will be a good thing for his ability to listen.

In the meantime, I am thinking on a workbox system, as well as waiting on a visual scheduling system from the OT.  Once those come in, we're going to rework how our days go, and get things together to set up our days with scheduled movement breaks, snack times, brushing times, and learning/playing times.  I'd really like this to help keep us focused. Right now, there's a lot of imagining, a lot of playing, a lot of daydreaming... all during working times, and during playing times he'll sit quietly and watch a Let's Play video for a game we don't have the system to run, watching for 30+ minutes at a clip. I'd like to try to reverse that focus a little if we could - or get the focus for schoolwork as well as for New Super Mario Brothers WiiU.  Fingers crossed it works, because for right now, we're having some major struggles getting through ten minutes of work in under an hour, and neither of us needs that.

Staying Motivated: Funny from me, innit?

I haven't properly updated in months, it's funny that I'd be posting about staying motivated, don't you think?

Odd thing is, I've been staying motivated.  It's just not motivated here.  I have a decent load over on a book club blog that seemed to hit critical mass between mid-December and mid-January.  Wonder why I haven't been here as much... Probably because I'm crunching deadlines trying to get book reviews, quotes, reading lists, guest posts, and series analyses done over there!

Anyway, I'm back, and hoping to stick with it a little better.

Man, this time of year stinks for homeschooling.  For anyone, really, but with homeschooling you're really only day-to-day accountable to yourself. You don't have to call in an excuse if you're not having school, you just don't do it.  You don't have to have a note in the next day, or even a doctor's note.  The things that make it more trouble to skip public school than it's worth just don't seem to exist, especially not in the middle of winter when it seems like spring is never coming, there's only ten minutes of sunshine a day, and the kids are going insane because they're cooped up inside during the Polar Vortex... and then again for Polar Vortex II: Electric (Blanket) Boogaloo.

So... how do you keep motivated to keep on plodding along, even when it seems like you're stuck in the winter that never ends (not to be confused with a certain song)?  For me, it's almost easy.  Here in Mooselandia, we've had the Polar Vortex and all, sure, and we didn't go to hockey those weeks.  But, we've also been on break since Hallowe'en.  Every year, it's what we do.  We school-lite in the summer, usually three days a week, and we take a break from Hallowe'en until after the New Year.  This year it was delayed a little, as our treasured friends Stellar Mama and Girl Friday moved from down the street to across the continent just as we were due to start up, so we postponed to squeeze in some extra visiting time.  Things we couldn't do if The Mad Natter were in public school.  But, either way, because of the break, we hit the middle of winter and are only just coming back to school.  So it's not a matter of "staying" motivated - we've been on a break so long we're twitching to get back to schoolwork!  Okay, so "we" aren't.  But I am, and since I make the schedule, there you have it.  This turns out to be a great thing.  We don't have the wintertime blues, we've managed to keep spirits high, we're not having (many) fights about who woke whom early on a Saturday and for what...  It works out for us.

It might not work as well for you, but if you're feeling run down, lethargic, blah... And if you have a few free days in your school year, maybe taking a midwinter break might not be such a bad idea.  Give you a chance to unwind a little, the kids a chance to relax and hopefully get outside (if there's Polar Vortex III: Son of Polar Vortex, I'm moving to Arizona!), and you might just be able to get back to finish your school year's winter with a little more energy, flare, and excitement than before.

Take a look and see how others deal with the slow period: http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/?p=3285

A Little Gratifying.

Isn't it always rather gratifying when Someone With Letters (like, for example, MD or PhD) affirms you're doing well?  Mad Natter is finally receiving some Occupational Therapy for his SPD. We're reassessing his profile right now, but he definitively has some sensory issues.  In "Thank You, Captain Obvious" news, so does Skeeve, and so do I.  Mad Natter has a blend of both our issues.  It seems he has my need for tactile stimulation, his father's need for deep pressure, and while he does not have my aversion to certain tactile textures or his father's to certain food textures, he has an incredible Need To Move.  At high speed. All the time. Everywhere. In circles around the house. At every opportunity.  *ahem*  Anyway. We're finally getting set up with OT for this, and are looking at brushing for deep pressure, a "walk with me" program to help him refrain from running off in crowded areas, and eventually visual scheduling. We just have to get the pieces together for that last part.

In review today, the OT commented that with the right supports, Mad Natter is "obviously capable of brilliance" and that we, at home, "certainly have the cognitive piece covered."  So while his social skills could use some help - with a mom and a dad that are introverts this isn't surprising - we've got this whole 'learning' thing down.  And it's so nice to hear someone else say so.  Especially when that someone else is Someone With Letters.
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I think I've neglected to mention that we've changed our maths program.  We have been using Right Start for the last two years, and the last few school months I felt very much like Mad Natter wasn't retaining everything he should be.  So, with a whole lot of crowdsourcing and advice, we jumped over to Math Mammoth.  We did the Kindergarten Review while we were still on our winter holidays, and then moved onto the regular 1A book.  Suddenly, there was so much less stress!  Mad Natter is now actually happy to be doing maths work, he's feeling successful, and asking him questions about what he's learning is no longer getting me answers like "Pumpkin!" for questions like 5+5=?  It's a huge load off of my shoulders, and a wonderful change for both of us.  I'm really excited to see what the next semester brings, especially since he's been doing so very well with this program, and is blazing through it faster than I thought he would (so what else is new?) !!

Living in Alphabet Soup.

The days aren't easy.  What is it, the days are long but the years are short?  Yeah, that seems to about sum things up here.  This week has been a flurry.  We've been back to school for a bit now, but we've also been doing some "spring" cleaning, which I'm suspecting is really just wishful thinking - hoping that by calling it "spring" cleaning, the weather will cooperate.  NOPE.  Four inches of snow.  Sigh.  Anyhow, we've been in the midst of this heavy-duty cleanup and purge, and we had our very first visit with our new OT to 'thank' for the crazy.  We would have tried to stretch this out over a month or so, so we're not pitching everything at once, but with a specialist coming?  Yeah, that got moved into a single week.  We've been cleaning like mad over here.

I realized yesterday, talking with TheYoungerMrsWarde from Sceleratus Classical Academy, that I live in alphabet soup. She asked why I hadn't posted in so long, and the bulk of my answer was taken up in SPD, OT, GT, HS, and OMGWTF.  Even more "impressive" was that not a single acronym was out of place, misunderstood, or would have been better served by another term.

Anyhow, here we are.  Today, we had our first visit with Ms M, our occupational therapist.  I say "our" because she really is helping all of us.  That makes a huge difference to me.  She came for a visit, and saw what Mad Natter looks like on a regular, plain ol' winter's day.  It was, to be mild, exciting. Natter showed off how well he runs around the house, how nicely he says "excuse me" before he interrupts, and how much he likes being tossed around in the air. We came out of it with a multitude of suggestions, most of which we're already implementing, but a few that we're not - we will be learning these when we go to our next appointment on Wednesday - and I'm excited to see how they go.

Truthfully, it's difficult to find people who understand the trifecta we have going on here (so far).  Our pediatrician is excellent about his chronological age and our homeschooling, but not gifted issues or SPD.  The OT is wonderful about his SPD, but doesn't understand homeschooling or gifted overexcitabilities. We're still looking for someone local to us to understand anything to do with giftedness.  So, in the end, we take what works for us, and leave the rest.  This usually leads to some irritated practitioners in our wake, but honestly, it's to a point where I've learned that nobody has this child's best interest more to the forefront than I do as his mother.  Other people may have the interests of children as a whole, or children like the ones they're used to working with, but this specific child?  He is my area of expertise, and I need to remember that the things I know to be right for us are the things that are right for us, and while others will have their opinions, it is my job to sift through the things that won't work to find the ones that do.

Keeping my Sanity Through the Holidays with a 2E Child

Today's post is part of a blog hop sponsored by Gifted Homeschoolers Forum!  Take a look at what others have had to say!

Typically, at our house, "holidays" and "enjoyment" are near oxymorons.  Finding a way to keep some form of routine during this period is neigh torture. This week, Mad Natter starts a skills development program for hockey. This lasts six weeks. So, once the schedule gets to be routine, it changes again because the program stops.  Now, this year, we're not travelling until Christmas, but ordinarily, we'd be heading to Chicagoland from Mooselandia for American Thanksgiving.  And this year, it's our Christmas in Chicago, as well.  So we'd be travelling for Thanksgiving, for Christmas, holiday set-up and tear-down, then New Year's...  There's so much change, so much commotion, and a boy who stresses with even slight changes? The whole season is a wreck.

Now, as if that's not enough commotion... This year, Mad Natter takes up hockey.  So, our school schedule was already screwy from having the sudden arrival of practices on Saturday and Sunday mornings (both days before Mad Natter would usually even be out of bed!), then once that's settled, we have the arrival of the skills workshops, then at the end of the month will be a scrimmage at the local OHL team's game, then the schedule changes again - practice on Saturday, and games at variable times on each Sunday.

So what do you do? What can you do, if the very nature of the season throws your kiddo into a tailspin - and not just any tailspin, but the kind that doubles up each day things are crazy?  In our house?  I try to reduce the changes.  So, effective Hallowe'en?  School's out.  I refuse to run school on Candy Day itself, there's just too much craziness. Then the whole week following is a loss in a sugar-induced high-low fest of epic proportions, and then there's on-again, off-again with the holidays... So, I put our large year break in winter - where we can ease at least some of the stress on Mad Natter before we hit the year fresh in 2014.  I have to remind grandparents and Skeeve that a) we've already accomplished a half year of schooling (minimum) since mid-August, and b) it's not like he's going to be behind - ever.

What this means in the big picture, though, is that we're able to have relatively low-key holidays, vaguely stress-free (or at least manageable stress levels), and I get to take the low-key time to have read alouds with Mad Natter, going over things like fairy tales, or cultural stories - things we all know, but don't remember where or when we learned them... Cinderella, or Jack Spratt.  It means school is much less formal, and instead we have a lot of stealthy schooling, and honestly? It keeps all of us saner over the crazy-making time that is any holiday, but particularly the cluster of fall and winter holidays.

Wait, it's November? Already?

Apparently, the Big Deal in November is NaBloPoMo.

I'm probably not going to get through that.  But, I suppose it's worth trying.

I'll kick this year off with Hallowe'en - Mad Natter was a specific character out of a Minecraft video for Hallowe'en this year.  We went by Mimi's house for dinner yesterday, and when we arrived, she asked him, "So, who are you?"

In a style so reminiscent of me that it's almost as frightening as it was funny, he turned to her, gave her the "I'm so sorry you're so stupid" look, and said "I'm Natter." as though she had managed to forget his given name, and completely blank on who he was, rather than asking what his costume was to be.  It was certainly one of the more fabulous moments being parent to a child who... can be challenging most other times.

I'll point out that today? Totally one of those times. Sugar rush/crash all day, a smallboy who wants nothing to eat but candy, and trying to get anything done?  Hoo, boy.  It's not entirely a picnic, but it's our time, and I get to know him a little better each day.

Homeschooling A Gifted or "2E" Child

We have nothing official in our file cabinets to support a "gifted" label, much less a twice exceptional one.  All we have is our basic experience, and those "What Your X-Grader Should Know" books.  But, I took a huge swath of my time, and copied out our Mooselandia Local Primary Education Standards. I'm not done with all of them yet, having focused on Language Arts, Science, and Maths as a core for our Kindy year. Looking at our books, knowing that Mad Natter is working on grade 1 level at a minimum for all subjects but handwriting (which is K)... I figured it would be pretty much a grade 1 thing.  NOPE.  He's asynchronous as they come - his language arts are sitting pretty firmly in grade 1. But his maths? Grade 2. Science is grade 3.  I'm at a point where I don't need a score to comfortably say my son is gifted (I need a score in case he takes a head injury playing hockey).  He's a newly five year old boy working at grade three. Anyone who says otherwise is full of bologna.

Now... the other thing I've noticed. I don't have a diagnosis for this either, but... Mad Natter has a span of about two hours in the morning where he is able to focus on his work fairly consistently. As long as we get his school work done in that span, everything goes well.  But I know when time is nearly up.  That's when redirection starts.

Mad Natter loses the ability to focus on his work.  He'll go from engaged and interested, to completely unable to think through a problem in a span of five minutes. Worse, this will be a problem he could rattle off an answer to without thinking about ten minutes prior.  He was sick in the middle of September, and as he curled up on my lap for an all-too-rare snuggle (he'd much rather be crashing through the car being a train or a Transformer!), he said to me, "Mama, I like being sick a little. My mind moves slower when I'm sick, and I can think."  My poor little monkey, I know well what that is like.  For Mama, it's undiagnosed AD/HD.  For Daddy, it's diagnosed, but untreated, ADD. We know well your pain.  And this is why we're on the waitlist for services to have Mad Natter assessed, to see what we can do for him.

These two things combine to make homeschooling a little bit more challenging.  And for scale, an elephant weighs a little bit more than a postage stamp.  I've been ordering curriculum for two years now (this will be my third, coming up), and I've been ordering in two year groupings, just to be safe.  I bought, for example, RightStart Math. Levels A and B not this past spring, but the one before. Mad Natter is about halfway through B. I bought C back in March, and by the time we get to ordering next (again, in March-ish), Mad Natter will be at least into level C. I expect him to go through a level and a half each school year, and so far that's been on target for everything we've tried.  He did level A through our last school year (plus the first few lessons of B), and I don't think I actually taught him anything but names (e.g: the six-sided figure is called a "hexagon").  I'm finally starting this year to feel like I'm actually teaching things. We'll have to see how it goes, though.  I keep trying to stay one step ahead of him, so we're never running out of things mid-year.  Oddly, his focus troubles seem to be helping me in that regard. He can't focus for too long, so I never work on any one thing for longer than about twenty minutes, then we chuck it and move on.  This means he's actually going through things slower than he would be if he were able to focus on it - which makes the books last longer.  I appreciate that, but I wonder if it's not doing him more harm than good.

Homeschooling the gifted or twice exceptional learner is a lot like parenting the same child - they're just MORE. So you have the same worries and concerns and joys and fun days as the 'regular' homeschooling parent... they just tend to be more intense.  Hell, Mrs Warde over at Sceleratus Classical Academy has talked me off of many a ledge as Mad Natter keeps exceeding expectations and throwing me for loop after loop!  When he started reading at 3y2m. When I realized he probably ought to be entering third grade in the fall. When it occurred to me that he will probably finish an entire primary school education by the time he's eight.  It's lions, and tigers, and bears OH, MY!  The thing is... I have to do something extremely difficult for me to do. In order to homeschool him effectively, and not drive myself utterly insane doing it, I need to let go.  Take things as they come, and move forward a day at a time. No panicking. No fretting, no hand wringing.  All I can do is take it as it comes to me, keep pushing through, advocate for the services Mad Natter needs, and keep meeting his educational needs.  He's not the average child, he's MY child.  He's not following the average path, he's following HIS path. And really, aside from "get enough sleep" and "take care of yourself," there isn't anything I can do but hold on for the ride - it'll be wonderful, and undoubtedly intense - if I can just let go enough to enjoy it.

Scheduling

It is seriously a rough time around here.

We have signed Mad Natter up for pre-novice hockey.  This, in and of itself, is a wonderful thing!  A chance to learn a new set of physical skills, a structured opportunity to get out and get his energy out, a great time to go out and play with kids and interact with the world at large!  Fantastic!

The problem comes in when you take our regular week schedule into account. We don't run Monday to Friday like the rest of the general population - we run Thursdays to Sundays. Skeeve works four ten hour days, and on an odd schedule. So, we ran school Thursday to Sunday as well, with Tuesdays added on as phys ed - when we run around the city playing at parks, going swimming, having picnics, apple picking...  All the fun things that make being home worth it!  Anyway. Because hockey is set up for the vast majority of people - who are Monday to Friday people, practices are on Saturday and Sunday. And not even a time we can work around - practices are set up Saturday at 9, and Sunday at 8, so we can't get school in beforehand.

Now, given that Mad Natter is extremely easily distracted on the best of days... this means we're going to have some really hard times ahead. Have to rework the entire schedule, as we can't count on getting in a full day of school after hockey practice. Have you seen what the kids look like when they come off the ice?  First it's DED OF SKATING, then it's ZOMG WIRED!  Needless to say, neither condition is conducive to school.



And so, what do we do? We no longer have four full school days. If we skip Saturday and Sunday entirely, we have two school days. If we toss on weekend days, then can get one more day - the other two are Mom's Resting Day and parent meeting day.  That's up to three... so now the schedule is reset - we're having school days Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and having half days on Saturday and Sunday.  We'll have to see how it all shakes out, but worst case scenario, I'm back to schedule planning again in a week or two.


all graphics ganked from fuckyeahreactions.tumblr.com

Homeschool and You

This is a lot like a "The Care and Feeding of You" book, really.  The problem is that I have to laugh that this is something I'm posting about.  I am probably the worst possible person to ask, which might just make me the best - if only in a "what not to do" context.

I get grumpy. Quickly. I get irritable, too. And easily angered, tense, and I take on way too much.  But the thing is, I forget to take care of me.  I'm so busy taking care of everyone else that I don't get taken care of.  I got money for my birthday. Pre-Monkey, birthday money would have gone to new books, or maybe a new pair of Chucks, or even something silly and useless.  Now, I've spent some of it on antibiotics for a little boy's abscessed tooth, and the remainder will likely go to signing him up for pee-wee hockey.  Before I go on with more, the story is I don't take care of me. I'm trying, though.  I make sure that I get at least one day per week to sleep in - meaning, one day that I wake up on my own, without a young sir jumping on my head at 7:00 am.  Now that it's not innermost-circle-of-hell hot and humid here, I'm going to be starting up running again soon as well.  But time to sit and read? Time for a mani-pedi? Time to just do Care things that Care likes to do?  Not so much.  There's usually a span of time between 8:30 and 10:00 that is Monkey-free. That, though, is devoted to cleaning up Monkey Mess.  For while my monkey doesn't fling feces like his wild brethren, he flings a lot of toys. And food. And paper. And drinks, and LEGO. So there is very little of that hour and a half left for actual self care.  I'm usually pretty pleased if I can henna away grey hairs twice a year, or get a haircut once a quarter.  I really need to work on that, though.  Seriously. Thinking of all the things I do - and skip doing - kind of makes me tense up all on its own.

The more I think about this, the more I realize that there is something more at play here. While all parents need to recharge, and parents of exceptional children need more time, I'm beginning to wonder if parents of children with multiple exceptionalities need more time than that.  Parenting is not an easy prospect, no matter what age your child is, or how agreeable they are. Parenting children who are just "more" in every respect? I'm sure they're also more draining - after all, they're "more" everything else, so why not? But then add in any additional exceptionality, and it seems like even the magnified effects of an intense child is magnified again. In our house, it's almost like having two children in one - we have a nearly nine year old, asking questions about reproduction, the human body (inside, outside, and nude), and super excited to use his microscope... and also a two or three year old - unable to control his impulses, grabbing what is near, whether he should or not, running full tilt through the house, climbing into things he knows he shouldn't because he doesn't have the skills to stop and think he shouldn't...  And both children are in the body of a five year old. Every day is an adventure, for sure, but it's also trying and exhausting, and I really need to stop and think about what I need to do for me to recharge and be the best Mama I can be.

What I need:
Sleep. Oh, how I need sleep.  It's well-neigh impossible for me to function on little sleep.  I'm one of those folks who needs a minimum of 9 hours before they can function. I can get four and be fine, but four and a half? Nope, doomed until nine.
Water I really need to drink more water. I'm not particularly good at it, and it generally shows. Oddly, the more water I drink, the more calm I seem to have.  At least it's cheaper than wine?
Time Out. No, not the little kid kind. But I need time to myself to get things done, time to sit and read, or talk to other homeschooling parents.  Happily, #gtchat usually does this for me. The problem is that I've been traveling so much, I feel like I'm missing all the chats, and that does a lot of horrifying things to my mood.
Fun For me, fun is something as simple as Doctor Who, a new book, or even just going out to window shop.

The problem, though, is that I also need a better memory. I know I need these things, but I have a heck of a time remembering that I need them during my day-to-day life!

Back to Not School!

In general, we're having a great week.  Monkey (now renamed The Mad Natter - to fit the theme, and because he'll soon be too old for "monkey") has been back to Not School since Thursday, and all has been going spectacularly well.  I actually remembered to plan for the fact that he has his best focus early in the morning this year.  That's made a world of difference.  We've been able to get our work done in under an hour, had time to play games, and then moved along before he lost his focus. I had no idea what time he lost it, either, because we were already done before things went crazy.

Today... was a different story.  Sundays we would ordinarily drive Skeeve to work if The Mad Natter was awake early enough.  He wasn't today, so Skeeve took the bus, and I rested a bit on the couch, waiting for The Mad Natter's appearance.  I didn't have long to wait, he came down the stairs stark naked and giggling about a lack of clothes in his room (yes, he goes through enough clothing in a day that I have to get laundry done every five days or he has absolutely nothing to wear).  So we dressed him out of the laundry basket in the living room, watched our week's episode of Magic School Bus (we've picked up free science lessons using MSB from HomeschoolBelle!!) - again - and got rolling.  Mad Natter wanted to do handwriting work, and since fine motor skills are his weak point, I'm all for letting him, despite having completed the week's handwriting (for reference: 2 pages on each of 2 days, 4p total) the day before.  More power to him, right? Anyhow, I set him up with his handwriting book, and he worked his way through S, J, T, I, A, the segment review AND the capital letter alphabet.  Seven pages - so nearly two weeks of handwriting work in about an hour this morning.  And that's when things started going to hell in a handbasket.

We started about 10 minutes later than usual today, due to it being a Sunday, and therefore a hectic morning. Mad Natter spent 25m watching MSB, then another 5 dawdling his way to the school table. He spent about 50m on handwriting. Then everything went crazy.  He was suddenly completely unable to focus, everything was interrupted by OOOH, SHINY! and he was completely incapable of adding 4+1.  Now, let's bear in mind that this child has been able to plus-one count up since he was three.  I could have understood 359+1, because it requires the regrouping of the ten, which is more of a challenge when you can't focus, but 4+1? We only made it through maths because it used the maths balance - which means it involves actually physically moving the weights to balance the equations. Spelling was equally easier, because I let him play with the balance while I asked beginning and ending sounds, and then separating sounds was done by moving tokens for each sound (thank goodness for All About Spelling!).  We completely dropped reading for the day, and the second half of our ant study was put off until after lunch - we had a read aloud, and then brainstorming, and letter writing.  I'm really glad for homeschool on that front - I was able to put things off until he was a little better able to focus.

Apparently, though, Mad Natter has about 90 minutes of focus in the mornings, and his focus is spotty for the rest of the day.  I'm really glad to have the freedom to have figured this out, and I'm hoping it will be something we can build on from here.